There she was.
I looked up and saw my mom.
Apparently my child’s father and mom had reached a consensus while the doctors were prepping me for a C-section. I can’t lie. I was glad that she was the one here in the delivery room with me. With the chaos of the doctors performing my C-section operation, I needed a piece of peace and familiarity. The presence of my mom naturally soothed my fears.
This is it Meisha. In minutes you will go from her daughter to a mom yourself.
…and at 2:38pm on June 3, 2010 baby Santana finally made his grand entrance into the world. Looking at him took my breath away. The moment was so surreal. I remember struggling and feeling guilt at times during my pregnancy for not having that immediate “mommy mindset” or fully feeling that mommy-son bond. However, that afternoon I knew that my life had changed forever. I finally knew what it felt like to love someone more than myself and to immediately want to protect them. This little being was all mine and it had only taken a glance for me to fall in unconditional love with him.
Wow. Look at his little fingers and little toes. They are so precious. I really made those? Oh my gosh. Look at his little pug nose. It looks just like mine but BOY OH BOY… does he look like his father. Wait until his dad sees him. He’s going to completely lose it. Baby Santana is definitely his twin.
Even after a solo pregnancy, I was excited for Santana’s dad to finally see his child. Sure, he didn’t completely get it right during the pregnancy but how could he not be a great father to his spitting image?
Now you can breathe Meisha. You did it baby girl. You have shown your strength during these last nine months and you have been a soldier during this operation. God has blessed you with a beautiful baby boy and family to support you. Stop worrying. As soon as his dad see him, he will fall in love - - just as you did. There will be a happily ever after after all.
“Do you want to hold him?” the doctors asked.
I reached for my baby and held him tight.
Time passed and the moment was finally here - - Santana’s dad was about to see his son for the first time.
How would he react? Would he have that same immediate love that I had after seeing Baby Santana? Would seeing Santana be enough to make him shape up and be a father? Would our little family defy the odds and work after all? Would we co-parent instead? Would he try to get his high school diploma and seek a good job to be the provider he needed to be?
He looked at Baby Santana and…