" Oh, he's just my brother..why you tripping? Oh, she's just my sister..why you mad?"

November 22, 2015

 

Let me just start my making it CRYSTAL CLEAR, that YES I believe that a guy and a girl can truly have a platonic friendship. We have all been there. You're in a relationship with a guy or a girl and there is that one friend (person of the opposite sex) that you just don't like. No, this person may have never done anything to you personally. This person may not even be around your man or woman often. For all you care, this friend is a friend of the opposite sex and quite frankly, YOU AIN'T HAVING IT.

 

There are situations that may cause for this concern (which I will get into later), but honey sometimes (ladies don't shoot me) you need to sit and check yourself. There is no reason that a male has to stop being friends with all of his old female friends just because he is dating you now. Same goes for the women, men. If she had guy friends that were present before you, then in no way should you be mad. It is important to realize that friendships are not merely lustful connections but they are bonds of trust, bonds of memories, and sources of laughter/advice/etc. It takes a degree of maturity to understand this. Think about it. Would you rather your partner be open with you about their friends and social life or have them live a somewhat "secret" life because of the fear of your jealousy?

 

HOWEVER, I have to throw a pause on the play. There are some partners that will take what I wrote above and clean out run with it. In no way is what I mentioned prior a justication for cheating. Yes, there are times when our own insecurites won't allow us to fully trust in our partners having opposite sex company around. If he or she is giving you absolutley NO reason to question him/her, then you may really need to sit and think if you are relationship ready yet. I'm going to put it to you frank. You cannot, I REPEAT CANNOT, follow your partner around all day, constantly check their social media, or insist on jail breaking their phone and expect to be happy. There has to be a degree of trust. If the trust is not there, please question what it is that is making you stay. Is it the right reason?

 

Now there are many warning signs that a friend is more than "just a friend." In this case, I give you all the free reign to jail break that phone. (I'm just kidding. You should always always always leave an unhealthy situation instead of fueling the fire).  I will leave you with just a few signs that I think are worth looking into if they are happening frequently.

 

1) Does he/she PURPOSEFULLY keep you two at a distance? If there is nothing questionable about your partner and their relationship with that "friend", then by no means should it be a problem for you to be around. Now I'm not saying your partner has to make you both best friends, but beware -- Cheaters often time keep people separate so that both parties do not pick up on the obvious chemistry. Try asking your partner if it is okay to meet that friend at least once. Your answer is there.

 

2) Are they communicating "ALL DAY, ER DAY" (as country people would say)? Now I know friends talk and I know you as a partner do not want to seem like you are nagging. No one likes to be "checked on" like a child and rightfully so but their are boundaries. When you and your partner decided to be together, YOU become that bestfriend and confidante. If when something major happens in your partner's life and that "friend" is the first go to or if your partner constantly goes to that "friend" every time you guys argue, then you may have justifiable cause for some concern.

 

I'll leave you with 3) Do you have to chase your partner down for time, but the "friend" doesn't? Now I get that sometimes you have those "brothers" or "sisters" that you really like to stay in connection with. However if your partner is far more concerned with keeping up with outside friends and you are begging for time, its time to have a conversation or time to put yourself first.

 

Keep in mind, I blog my own opinions. Take everything with a grain of salt and form your own. I encourage it!

 

 

Until next time, keep submitting topics and I'll just keep being. #SimplyMei

 

 

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