" I Lie Because I Care About Your Feelings"
This just in!
Ladies you asked for it.
Men you answered and you couldn’t have kept it more honest for the blog topic today.
Why do men cheat?
I must say, reading the feedback from some of these men and listening to some men of all ages discuss the topic was pretty… eye opening. Yes, you have some men that are just downright, cold-hearted players. However, not many of the men I interviewed claimed they cheated simply because they were cold hearted and didn’t care about the girl whom they cheated on. In fact, the men proposed an array of factors they felt could affect the psyche of a male mind enough to lead him into the life of womanizing. Now before I get into the reasoning, I am going to very clearly state: I don’t believe there is ever a VALID reason to cheat. I repeat, NEVER. If you don’t want to be in a monogamous relationship, that is fine. By all means, live your life. As country people may say, “Do your thang!” (Safely of course). There is nothing wrong with dating. It helps you to discover not only what you want in a partner, but it also helps you discover things about yourself such as what are deal breakers for you.
However, when you decide to be in a relationship that means you are choosing a commitment between you and one other individual. Leave that commitment amicably before disrespecting the other person if you know that you are not ready (Again, that is just Mei’s take on things. What do I know? I just blog my thoughts.) Without further ado, here are some of the top responses I received paired with a little of my own take on things.
1) Insecurity: “Some men do not feel that they are on the same level as their girlfriend in many ways such as financially. They don’t want to leave their girlfriend, but they cheat with someone on or below their level to make them feel confident and secure.” Now men or women, this is not okay. If you feel insecure with yourself then it may not be time for you to be in a relationship. Insecurity goes hand in hand with trust issues. If you can’t trust the person you are with then what relationship do you truly have? If you don’t feel like you are “enough” for that person then you may be tempted to seek validation elsewhere. It just isn’t healthy.
2) Getting hurt after trusting someone: “I put my full trust into a girl that I could have seen myself marrying. I let her into my world, introduced her to my family, and she cheated on me so yeah..that was a wrap.” I totally understand how hurt can make you feel. It can make you quest --ion everyone and put up walls so that you don’t get hurt again. When you are hurt, you don’t necessarily have all the care in the world for the feelings of others. I get it. However, why put someone else through the same feeling? I encourage you to casually date until you can trust in someone enough to try again and accept that love is a risk.
3) No example on how to love: “My parents ain’t married. Nobody in my family is married. I try to be a good man but I have never had a clear example of what a good relationship looks like.” Ladies, how do you feel about the man that says he has never had the proper male role model?
4) Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free? Brace yourselves ladies. This was a real response. This response should make you understand the importance of knowing your self-worth. If you don’t value yourself then what makes you think that someone else will? “Honestly, I know she ain’t going nowhere as bad as it sounds. I mean yeah, she gets mad but we have been through a lot. I’m still growing. She riding with me through the good and bad.” – Hmmm.
5) Maturity: “Some guys just aren’t ready for a relationship but we don’t want to watch that good girl go. We know that we can become the man she needs with time. Does it make us bad guys? No. Do we need to be in a relationship? Maybe not.” I really pondered on this response. I still do not support cheating but I could understand how hard the journey of maturity could be for a guy. I believe women naturally mature quicker. Some guys are still impulsive when they get into a relationship and lack the will power to be monogamous. PSA: Good girls don’t wait around forever.
6) Bored with a routine: “Forget it. I’m going to say the real reason since I know many won’t keep it real. We are men. We like compliments and being flattered. We just take that (bleep) too far sometimes out of curiosity. We start to feel unappreciated at other times when our girlfriend ain’t showing that love like she used to and you know how that goes…” I could go off into a tangent about this response but I won’t. True love won’t always feel like it did during the “honey moon” phase. To all women, yes men like to feel appreciated just as much as we do. To all men, some days won’t be roses and if you think it will be, you have A LOT to learn.
I hope you were enlightened as much as I was. Until next time, leave comments and share if you enjoyed this post.