"So Many People Use Your Name in Vain...Love"

Love. It's amazing the things that we will actually do for it. We run to it, when it hurts. Run from it, after we hurt. And you're in for it, when it's no longer available. I think my personal experiences with love have an always been the greatest, but they definitely have been the worst. I won't say I'm perfect at all. I've probably done things to ruin love, but I know for a fact I've done things to enhance it.

Here I am at 25 still wondering sometime if I ever knew what love was. Maybe because I never had it personally? Maybe I've had it and didn't realize I did? So many questions in myself that have me wondering whether or not love exists, perfect love… Or whether it's just the type of love that we are willing to deal with and accept. It doesn't seem attainable. So what is real love? LOL

I heard a long time ago, and I don't even remember where that there's only one type of love. It's the same love that God loves you with. It's unpredictable. For most it's unimaginable. But one thing I know for sure, it's unconditional. It's one of those things that you just get without asking for, and as long as it's willingly being given to you, you always feel it. Even though it's a noun, and a verb… And an adjective, it's literally tangible. It doesn't even just mean sex. Or "making love" which we love to pretend we're doing with people we wouldn't sacrifice our last meal for.

I can remember being in a relationship, losing my job, and watching someone give up on me. And the next morning before we went to work, tell me they love me. Another instance, I can remember not having my degree (which I'm working on in Jesus name) and getting a phone call from someone who claimed they love me, telling me they no longer could wait for me to be in the position where I was financially able to take care of us both. I have a hard time believing this is love.

"I love you", how long does it take us to actually feel this? Or is it our euphoric imagination that helps us cope with the idea of someone being with us even when they are around.

I Love the feeling I feel when I feel love. I love the idea of love. I love looking at people who are in love.

I just wish love found its way to me, with the same ideas I have for it in my head.

Love. So many people use your name in vain, and so many hearts have hurt living in them, with you to blame.